How Lorraine Married Napoleon and Brick
at the Same Time
One day, Lorraine was going to the store, because
that's not overused at all, and she accidently
happened upon a boy playing tetherball in the school field by himself.
She went over to the boy and said
"Hi Mr.Thethererball whats your name" and he said "Napoleon" and she instantly fell in
love with his curly
golden locks of hair and his incredible manly physique. She married him later that day. Two weeks later
she was
walking down the same street and she saw a man in a suit talking to a mailbox. She went up to him and said
"Hi
Mr.Talkstomailboxes whats your name" and he said "Brick" and she instantly fell in love with his vacant look
and ability
to converse with inanimate objects. She married him later that day (by some fluke the government didn't
notice she had
married someone only 2 weeks earlier)
Lorraine realized she now had a problem, 2 husbands and only 1 house. She took Brick home and locked him into the
basement
(to which he didn't protest, she told him they were playing hide and seek). She went to visit him at least
3 times a day
with food for him. Soon Napoleon began to wonder why she kept going downstairs, so he asked her.
Lorraine said "I caught
your favourite animal, the liger, and he's in the basement for safekeeping. You can't go
down there and see him till I
domesticate him'. Napoleon accepted this for a time.
Napoleon decided about 4 years later that there was no way a Liger (which he believed to be a very civil animal)
could
not have been domesticated yet. So one day he ventured into the basement. From this point, no one knows what
happened,
but they only found pieces of Napoleon and the neighbours could swear they heard "Here Liger, come out"
followed by loud
screams. When Lorraine came home she found Brick covered in blood. She asked him "What happened
Brick?!" and he responded
with "When I spin fast I get dizzy and throw up." Brick spent 12 years in jail and
Lorraine lived on to marry Ron Burgandy
and have a family of 23.
The end.
written
by scott wicken- my wonderful cousin lol great story scott!
